Living with the Effects of Depression

Communicating with your loved one about his/her depression

• One way to start a conversation about depression is to share a time when you were depressed or blue. This may make it easier for him/her to talk about his/her feelings.
• Speak simply, use short sentences, and don’t talk down.
• You may be surprised to learn that your loved one will talk to you about this. It is then your turn to listen.
• Be sure to offer specific ways you can assist him/her. This can be in selecting a doctor, making an appointment, or taking him/her to the appointment.
• Discussions may occur over a period of time. Be patient. Be prepared to receive resistance to your suggestions. The most important part is convincing your loved one that depression can be treated and he or she can feel better.

If your loved one refuses help

Depressed people may feel they should be able to help themselves, they don’t want to be a burden on you, or that nothing will help them feel better. When your loved one refuses your attempts to help him or her, you can feel very frustrated. Here are some tips for dealing with this:

• Be consistently supportive, but not overly cheerful: The depressed person may see that you are not giving up on them and accept your help. Keep from saying things like “There, there. Everything will be okay. You’re just feeling a little blue today.”
• Be honest: Talk with them about how much you care for them and love them. Tell them how you feel when your help is rejected.
• Remember that lack of motivation and hopelessness are symptoms of depression: Don’t take it personally.
• Use professional help: Some people are more likely to try a doctor’s suggestion than that of a family member.